Undesirable
by Jargonelle
Summary: One shot: Erk discovers an unwelcome talent. ...The darkness can be more tempting than the light...


Undesirable   
by Jargonelle  
  
Summary: Erk discovers an unwelcome talent.   
...The darkness can be more tempting than the light...  
  
A/N: Inspired by the random mentions of Canas/Erk found lying around the net (even though this is not Canas/Erk, but they did make me wonder how their support conversations would go if they had any. Probably nothing like this!) and the fact that 'my' Erk carried around a Luna spell book for a good few missions before I bothered to give it to Merlinus.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem.  
  
-----  
  
With two well-placed fireballs, the shaman fell down dead.  
  
Erk quickly looked around. Hector and Eliwood were advancing either side of him, behind him was clear, and no one seemed to be in trouble. He took a deep breath before kneeling down beside his fallen enemy; the company was rapidly running out of funds and so anything that could be plundered was worth its weight in gold. The magic triangle be damned, Erk preferred it when he was facing dark magic users; they tended to wear hoods and therefore he did not have to see their faces when he searched their bodies for something to steal.  
  
He tossed aside the worn out berserk staff, patting down the shaman's robes. After a few seconds of desperate searching, he found what he was looking for, the enemy's tome. He grabbed it and slipped it inside his cape. It felt heavy beside his anima spell books, but whether it actually was heavier or not, he could not tell. He wanted to check, wanted to look at the book in more detail...  
  
Yet there was a battle to be won. He hurried to catch up with Eliwood.  
  
With two well-placed fireballs, another shaman fell down dead.  
  
And the war continued.  
  
-----  
  
Erk woke up early the next morning, feeling abnormally unsettled.  
  
He had not had time to give the dark magic book to Merlinus, so it still rested with his equipment, where it looked decidedly out of place. He considering offering it to Canas directly, instead of bothering the merchant, since no one else in the army would have had any use for it.  
  
He wondered what it was like though, wondered why there were so many rumours about dark magic 'possessing' its wielders. Erk had never read a dark magic book before, Lord Pent had refused it, but he had read books about dark magic and he was certain that everything said had been exaggerated at the very least. Probably by shamans and druids trying to keep their power a secret.  
  
It certainly would not hurt to just read it, not if he were silent.  
  
He picked it up and placed it on his lap, tracing the pattern emblazoned on its cover reverently, feeling the power that radiated from it. Turning the pages carefully, he discovered the name of the spell, 'Luna' and also that the sounds, the nuances of the dark magic was entirely different from the spells he was used to chanting.  
  
"Es-ka-raa-ka," he whispered almost involuntarily, stumbling over the unfamiliar syllables.  
  
He felt cold. He felt cold and trapped, as if he had no choice but to continue chanting until the spell was finished or he had died from exhaustion. He felt sick. He felt guilty. He felt scared and strangely powerful.  
  
Most of all though, he felt ashamed, and so with a great effort, he looked away, unable to close the book, but with just enough defiance to break the spell.  
  
Erk felt a sudden, desperate compulsion to see the sun and the trees and the grass and the streams, to see nature, to try to feel connected with it once again. He left his tent and headed outside, to climb the hill near their campsite and look down upon the valleys.  
  
He took the Luna book with him.  
  
He just could not leave it behind.  
  
-----  
  
Erk sat at the top of the hill, the earth beneath him, the blue sky overhead and closed his eyes. Regulating his breathing, he tried to grasp the elusive rhythms of nature, but all he was really aware of was his racing pulse and how he was getting soggy because of the morning dew.  
  
Frustrated, he thought of Nino, who could cast the most complicated of spells without even being able to read and of Priscilla, who he had been hired to protect, but who was herself almost able to outstrip him in terms of magical ability. Even with all of Erk's hard work, Lord Pent would have better off teaching either one of the girls.  
  
Apparently he had not lost all of his ability to communicate with nature though, as he sensed someone approach him from behind and he was sure that their intentions were not entirely good.  
  
"Es-ka-raa-ka-ex-vin-yay-ah," he chanted in self-defence, his voice growing more and more confident as he proceeded, not caring if whoever approached was friend or foe, only wanting to release the Luna energy. A fine dark mist rose up around his feet that was alien and horrifying.  
  
And then he saw that it was Canas and he tried to stop, but he could not. It was as if the spell had taken on a conscious of its own. With a determined effort born of years of self-discipline, he directed the impact onto a nearby bare patch of ground.  
  
Canas blinked in surprise.  
  
"There are those that would die before using 'dark' magic," he said eventually, watching the mist dispel into nothing.  
  
Which was when it hit Erk exactly what he had been doing. He had been using dark magic, evil magic. Lord Pent must have been right, he was not strong enough to use it. He was willingly handing himself over to Nergal.  
  
"Maybe I just like living," he said brusquely, hiding his guilt, and began to hand the book over to Canas, but it was harder, much harder than he had anticipated. The tome called to him, sang out to him with lyrical ambition. The anger that bubbled up in him at being controlled though was enough to stir him into action and he shoved it into Canas' waiting arms, before hurriedly stepping away.  
  
Canas walked calmly to the brow of the hill and sat down, carefully laying the book on the ground, but not sparing it more than a second glance. Erk stood and watched, and tried not to be jealous of the man's apparent self- mastery.  
  
"I was impressed, that the spell would work for you first time, especially you, such a willing student of Lord Pent. I wonder if anima magic came to you so easily."  
  
Erk tried not to flinch at the implications of that. "I wonder if it's any of your business."  
  
"Lord Pent told me a lot about you. Such a polite, caring young man, even if sometimes you didn't always show it. I can't guess what happened."  
  
"Don't... don't try to act innocent. Not when you've dedicated your life to that..."  
  
Canas adjusted his monocle and it looked to Erk as if he were planning on giving an oft-repeated lecture. "Though many call it dark magic, the preferred term is 'elder' magic."  
  
Erk knew that, how could he not?, but it was an intellectual knowledge, not the gut instinct he had that cried out to him that even looking at the Luna book again was a very bad idea indeed. If only he did not feel compelled to snatch it back up from the ground.  
  
"Yet there is no doubt this power is laced with darkness. Many have tried to conquer this magic and have failed miserably. It has cost them their lives if they are lucky, their souls, if they are not."  
  
"Then why...-" Erk started to ask, but he stopped himself from completing the question. He knew why people would risk it. It promised power, even if it would ultimately fail to deliver and the danger, the taboo made it exciting. It was intoxicating from the start.  
  
"I have to admit, when I sensed the formation of a dark spell I thought we were under attack. I did not expect to find someone else with such a strong affinity for this kind of magic, even a well-hidden one."  
  
"What?" Erk asked, scared. Did this mean he really was evil?  
  
"I would have thought that you would no longer see things in black and white," Canas continued, apparently now a mind reader. "Elder magic is not evil, just as light magic is not always good. Elder magic is focused on the individual, from within. To master it, you must master yourself. With light magic, it is strongest when built on a collective faith. You, Erk, are probably more focused on yourself."  
  
Erk was not entirely sure how to take that, though he supposed being called selfish was better than being branded evil. "And anima magic?" he dared to venture, afraid that another of his shortcomings would be brought out and declared to the world.  
  
"Ah," Canas said wisely, "anima magic hinges on communion with the spirits, of being in harmony with nature and with the order of all living things."  
  
So everyone kept telling him. Lord Pent, Nino, even Priscilla, they had all mentioned about how they felt instinctively in-tune with nature, how they could sense the plants and the animals above and beyond their own anxiety. It was not an entirely foreign idea to Erk, but it was akin to a mirage, in sight, but always out of reach. The few times he had come close to such a union, it had felt wonderful; he decided then that he would not give up. Even if he had to work ten times harder than everyone else, he would still made Lord Pent proud of him. It was strange how the memories made everything seem brighter.  
  
"Thank you for explaining things," he finally said, sincerely, after a minute's shared silence.  
  
"No, thank you for listening to me prattle on."  
  
Erk offered his hand to help Canas stand, positioning the other man's body squarely between him and the Luna book.  
  
"I suppose I should look after this from now on." Canas said, a touch of disappointment in his voice that he had lost yet another chance to have someone continue his legacy.  
  
"I think that would be for the best," Erk agreed, trying to keep the shake from his voice and his hands by his sides.  
  
He would learn to control this, just as he had learned to control everything else.  
  
He was afraid of what would happen if he did not.  
  
-----  
  
"Master, I... I want to say thank you, for everything you've done for me."  
  
Lord Pent tried not to show his concern. "Has something happened Erk?" For although it was obvious how Erk felt most of the time, he did not normally voice his emotions.  
  
"I cast a Luna spell. I nearly attacked Canas. I would have lost myself... so thank you. Thank you for teaching me anima magic."  
  
Since there was no one else around and therefore Erk had no reason to be embarrassed, Pent placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "I was worried, for a time, that I had made the wrong choice, but as I watched your progress, I knew that I had not. You are a great sage Erk and you will become even greater. Louise and I are both very proud of you."  
  
Erk blushed and tried to pull away, but Pent stopped him by drawing him into a brief hug.  
  
"She missed you. I missed you. Make sure you come home with us after this is over."  
  
-----  
  
Erk waited in the forest.  
  
He knew that three shamans were approaching his position, so he waited, wanting the cover of the trees.  
  
He could not help but spare a brief flash of pity for the enemy, knowing as he did, that they were doomed. They would either die in the war, or they would be lost to the darkness, either way, their lives were no longer their own. That was, if they had ever been alive in the first place.  
  
Armed with three anima spell books, a healing staff and an elixir, Erk had made certain that if a dark tome fell into his possession, he would be able to send it to Merlinus straight away. He could not have dealt with the temptation.  
  
The first shaman hurled a cloud of darkness at him, which missed by the smallest of margins. Erk retaliated, but he too missed, the trees that had protected him had obscured his field of view.  
  
Moving forward, he began to chant, the familiar anima chants, with soft sounds and a voice that was entirely his own.  
  
With two well-placed fireballs, the shaman fell down dead.  
  
Then the next. Then the next.  
  
And the war continued.  
  
-----  
  
THE END  
  
-----  
  
A/N: I think that Erk was jealous of Nino, at least to start with, which was the whole basis of this story really. It's a bit random, it's probably a bit OOC and it's a bit pointless but I'd still love to hear what anyone thought of it. So... yeah... review? Please? 


End file.
